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Parents there is an enemy lurking around the corner that is a real threat to you and your child’s future, and the enemy is not who you think it is.

ARE YOU and YOUR CHILD prepared for the day when the enemy comes and takes possession of your child?

All too often I hear parents ask this question in utter dismay…”What happened to my child? He or she was such a good kid!”

This question is pondered by many parents who assumed they had done all the right things on behalf of their child, until the reality sets in and shows them that after all that they had done, it still was not enough.

The Answer. Well, you know you already have it. You know what happened, you know who the enemy is, and what the enemy is capable of. But you refused to humble yourself and acknowledge the enemy and admit to yourself that you were unprepared to stop him until it was too late.

Many parents try to hold onto those precious memories of their child‘s innocence. The memories of their child taking their first step, or reaching out and looking up at them with those big brown eyes, or coming home with an “A” in elementary school, or outside riding their bikes.

Parents often try to prolong this period in a child’s life when the child is inquisitive and dependent upon them, but are also obedient and eager to please you.

The majority of parents are trying to protect their child by not exposing their child to the reality of real life, and some are even selfishly enabling their children so the child will be so dependent upon them that the child will grow up to be an adult that never leaves home or always seeking their help which makes the parent feel needed or not alone, but this method of parenting is what the enemy preys upon.

So who is this enemy I speak of? The enemy of every child is adolescence, puberty and growing up. (Define adolescent and explain the basic personality of a child ages of  2-5, 6-9,10-12, & 13-17)

The enemy looks for the overly sheltered child, who was never empowered, or not shown how to be a problem solver or lacks basic life skills.

The enemy looks for the overly exposed child that has no fear, who lacks structure or discipline where nothing ever seems wrong or inappropriate because they had no boundaries, they were surrounded by too much dysfunction until it was accepted as normal.

The enemy then tempts them with the promise of no boundaries, more extreme fun and excitement, popularity, acceptance and the lure of material possessions.

Then one day out of the blue, somewhere between the ages of 12-14 a change takes place in all Children lives.  It’s called ADOLESCENCE, PUBERTY AND GROWING UP.

During this transition everything changes for the child both mentally and physically and the parent is caught off guard and unprepared to confront the enemy that has just arrived. The enemy has taken their baby and replaced their child with a stranger.

The parent is angry and confused and begins to blame others (their friends, the school, the music and even the government) for this change in their child.

Even the child is unaware of what he/she has become because nobody ever prepared them, and they are struggling trying to do the best that they can with what little they have.

Adolescence and puberty is a natural progression in a child’s life when a child tries to make the transition from a child to an adult, they began to identify themselves with the adult segment of society because they begin to physically share common traits. They are almost as tall as an adult and weigh almost as much as an adult so they are becoming equal to an adult.

A child is merely trying to discover themselves and their purpose. They are trying to bridge the gap of becoming an individual while learning to co-exist in an attempt to appear more authentic. In their efforts to look more grown up they prematurely engage in activities they associate with being grown, but not necessarily reflective of a mature and responsible adult. The child begins to engage in things such as profanity, questionable appearance, dating, driving, smoking, drinking, partying, etc.

The problem is that without prior structure and guidance they will just try to fake their way through this transition by “winging It ”.

If no adult guidance or strong support system is there for the child, they will just bounce ideas off of their peers and friends who are also going through the same transition and are equally clueless and it eventually turns out to be the blind leading the blind and results are often disastrous.

This is how you defeat the enemy who is coming whether you are prepared as a parent or not.

THE WILLING

Make the investment in your child now. I know time is limited with so many other things going on, but the reality is you either pay now or pay later but you will ultimately pay in form or another.

“I once heard a quote which is a very harsh reality “You either lead the willing or you drag the unwilling. ” Sometime in order for a leader to gain compliance and move forward in the right direction towards progress stern guidance is sometimes needed.

Most individuals want to do better, they simply were never properly taught. Those individuals are more prong to guidance and proper nurturing because they are willing.

THE UNWILLING

And unfortunately for those who resist living or being governed by rules of acceptable behavior and fail to comply, you must implement rules, consequences and mechanisms to guide them  to voluntarily comply (which doesn’t mean they must like it , it only means that they comply and be willing to follow directions.

We are ultimately judged and defined by our actions. Each action we exhibit is predicated by a Character trait, may it be good or bad. Every action, re-action, every thought whether it’s conscience or sub-conscience. No matter if it was intentional or unintentional, spoken or unspoken. Your actions will have an effect in some form or another. It’s impact will affect you or someone else. The impact will either be positive or negative, subtle or great, immediate or down road. It will either be swift or lasting. There shall either be a reward /benefit gained or a consequence suffered. It will either help or it will hurt.

Every action is the sole choice of the individual, no matter the circumstances, influences or factors, we all have free will to choose. Therefore, choose wisely because you will ultimately bear the burden of your decisions and your actions.

***************************** Top 10 Character Traits **************************

1. Character

2. Ethics

3. Morals

4. Values

5. Principles

6. Integrity

7. Virtue

8. Scruples

9. Standards

10. Structure

To recognize the importance of mentors in the lives of Americans, Obama signed a proclamation last month designating January as National Mentoring Month. We encourage you to take the time out to mentor a child in your community. It only takes one to two hours per week to make a tremendous difference in the life of a child seeking to transition. Please complete the form below.

Join a diverse panel of Jacksonville’s new leadership in a community forum on the pros and cons of social services on education, community, and the economy, including Mia Jones, Florida State House of Representative, Sam K. Jackson, founder of the PA.C.E. Life Management Plan, Jacquelyn Green, Florida Department of Children and Families, and Jermyn Shannon El, Blacksonville Community Network.

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Duval Urban Debate League.

Have you ever said to yourself…

“If I knew then, what I know now, and could do it all over again, I would do things much more differently.”

Most mature and responsible adults know what it takes to “MAKE IT IN LIFE”, generally after all the mistakes have been made and the damage has been done. The errors of our ways really didn’t become clear, nor make sense to us until much later in life, after having gone through the school of hard knocks and realizing how foolish and naive we were as children and young adults.

On the other hand, as responsible adults, concerned parents and strong community leaders we can’t afford to take such unnecessary risks with our children and their future. Our communities, and most importantly our children, depend on us to make sound decisions. At some point in life, we have to accept the fact that life really isn’t about us, it’s all about our children.

Because many of us were not provided with a STRUCTURED LIFE PLAN by our parents or community, spiritual, or government leaders, we oftentimes pass on bad or ineffective parenting techniques to our children which keeps this vicious cycle going for several generations. Unfortunately we have not done a very good job in fully articulating our objects and instilling a sense of character  into our children in a simple, direct and practical manner. We have failed at properly sharing with the youth of today, the ways and means of “How to Make it in Life”.

Today’s children are faced with REAL problems. Therefore, they deserve REAL answers. As adults, we owe it to them to provide real solutions without all the fancy cliche’s and unrealistic expectations.

Life won’t change unless you change first!

No patience and understanding, No PEACE… Know patience and understanding, KNOW PEACE

1. First and foremost calm down! Think rationally because anger clouds your judgment.

2. Identify the problems and its impact, gather some supporting facts to get a better understanding of the situation before jumping to a conclusion or making any assumptions.

3. Pre-plan the conversation and think about what you are going to say, how you are going to say it and the way it will be perceived, create an agenda and have some positive talking points.

4. Choose a time and a place for peaceful talks and resolutions that is non-threatening and relaxing to everyone involved.

5. Arm yourself with a pen and paper to write down all your concerns and requests by taking good notes as to what the other persons says, their wants or needs in order to clarify problems and misunderstandings.

6. Have a non partial and mutually respected mediator / witness present, if possible.

7. Establish each person’s role, the rules of engagement and set boundaries based upon mutual respect, honesty and trust.

8. Agree to disagree, without openly showing anger, frustration, or disappointment.

9. Be humble and some show humility by showing the proper respect for a person’s authority or position, by being able to say, I’m sorry, I was wrong, I don’t know.

10. Be understanding towards the other person’s feeling and show some empathy.

11. SHOW PATIENCE and express love or concern for the person and others involved.

12. Find some common ground, things you both want to achieve or can mutually agree upon.

13. Allow for two-way communication by allowing the other person to fully express them self without interruption. Whether right, wrong or indifferent.

14. Be open-minded to the different views, opinions and perspectives, without being judgmental.

15. Look directly at the person, listen attentively and learn something new about the person or the situation.

16. Stay on task and stick to the subject at hand; avoid drifting into other problems or past issues.

17. Admit that you too have faults and has made errors while expressing a commitment to making things right.

18. Don’t make subject matter all about you by turning it into your own personal pity party.

19. Express a willingness to make changes yourself and compromise.

20. Point out the positives aspects about the other person or the issue (things you like about the person or the good things that they have done).

21. Point out the concerns and the negative effects the problem has on the person & others.

22. Don’t focus on the specific actions of the person rather relate the person’s inappropriate behavior or actions directly to a specific character trait that was violated.

23. Identify mutual and usable resources, such as counseling or training, etc.

24. Seek a compromise and a commitment from the other person (the “buy- in”).

25. Be willing to get a little from others and able give a lot of yourself.

26. Be very specific about your expectations, desired results and consequences. Remember change won’t come quick nor easy.

27. Establish some time lines for starting and or completion or continuing indefinitely.

28. Recap all major topics and confirm all important points which were agreed upon.

29. Close talks on a high note with something positive or encouraging (hug or a handshake).

The P.A.C.E. Plan is simple, yet serves as a structured and effective life plan that takes the guess work out of living a more positive life while navigating a person through the full spectrum of life’s vicissitudes.

The PACE Life Management Plan starts by first changing a person’s heart and mind through character rehabilitation.

Our motto is “LIFE WON’T CHANGE UNLESS YOU CHANGE FIRST”.

The PACE Plan helps a person who has fallen get back up; it also gives a person who is currently doing good or seemingly O.K. in their life a solid foundation to stand on.  Our aim is to provide everyone who encounters the plan to instill a foundation that helps them to steady the course and do even better in life.

The PACE Life Management Plan is NOT a… right now plan, it’s not a tomorrow’s plan or even a next year’s plan, it’s a LIFE PLAN!

Take a moment to read some of the social problems affecting our society…

·         Crime

·         Substance abuse

·         Poverty

·         Homelessness

·         Drop out

·         Runaway

·         Unemployment

·         Illiteracy

·         Prejudice

·         High person debt

·         Depression

·         Mental health issues

·         Divorce

·         Domestic violence

·         Suicide

·         Indigent care

·         Disease and disabilities

·         Anger issues

·         Teen pregnancy

·         Poor Economy

·         Corruption

·         Gang Affiliation

Our society is in a state of crisis and on a steady decline?

Well, in my humble opinion, I think our society is in such crisis and turmoil, because as human beings we are innately flawed and defective!

Perseverance is the key to Success!

My views on success ~

I try to avoid that word SUCCESS at all costs, especially to our kids. It is because of society’s perception of success that has been our biggest down fall in life. As children we are taught early in life by our parents, teachers, churches, and political leaders to chase that ever elusive thing called SUCCESS, before we have even attained the basics in life, or a foundation of strong and positive character. Instead I prefer to say “MAKING IT IN LIFE”.

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