The Day the Enemy Came

The Day the Enemy Came
An Excerpt from The P.A.C.E Life Management Program- 

volume 2 of the ” How to Make it in Life series,

Titled ” Life is a journey PACE Yourself “

Click button to listen to the associated song

“On my way” by I.V. Hisson >

Parents there is an enemy lurking around the corner that is a real threat to the relationship you have with your child and an even bigger threat to your child’s future. This enemy is not who nor what you think it is.

ARE YOU prepared for the day when the enemy will come and takes possession of YOUR CHILD ?

IS YOUR CHILD  prepared for the day when this enemy will come and takes possession of their HEART AND MIND ?

All too often I hear parents ask this question in utter dismay …   “What happened to my child? He or she was such a good little child!”

The preceeding question is pondered by many parents who assumed they did all the right things on behalf of their child, until one day when reality sets in and shows them that after all they had done, and after all of their god intentions, it still was not enough nor was it EFFECTIVE,

The answer is, you know what happened to your child, and you knew who the enemy was and what the enemy was capable of doing. Yet you refused to humble yourself and acknowledge the enemy’s presence and power. You refused yet again to admit to yourself that you were weak and unprepared to stop this threat until the day when it was too late.

Many parents even selfishly and purposely disable their children until their child become so dependent upon them that the child will just grow up to be an adult that never leaves home or is always seeking their help, which makes the parent feel needed and not alone.

The reason being, many parents are selfish and mask it as love.

They say “ I love my child to death”. I say you should be loving your child to Life!

Some parents try desperately to hold onto the precious  memories of their child‘s innocence, and the memories of their child taking their first step, or their child reaching out to them with those big brown eyes wanting to be picked up, or their child coming home with an “ A” in kindergarten for finger painting.

Parents often try to prolong this period in a child’s life when the child is respectful, obedient, inquisitive and eager to learn and even more eager please them.

Parents often deny giving their child their own independence by not empowering the child and teaching them basic life skills to make it on their own thus making them heavily dependent upon them.

This method of parenting is not effective, nor is it true love it’s just real possession and it’s what the enemy preys upon.

Then one day out of the blue, somewhere between the ages of  12-16 a change takes place in the lives of all children.

During this transition everything changes for the child both mentally and physically.

So who is this enemy I speak of ?   

The enemy of every child is GROWING-UP, ADOLESCENCE & PUBERTY.

Many parents down play or just blow off this transitional period in a child’s life, by saying “ oh, it’s just kids being kids ” as they  stand-by idly and watch as the enemy takes their precious babies away and replaces them with a person they are not familiar with and sometimes even taking their child and never returning them at all.

The enemy looks for one certain type of parent…

The parents that tries to protect their child by not exposing their child to the reality of real life.

The enemy looks for one of two types of children…

  1. The enemy looks for…
    1. the overly sheltered child, who was never really truly empowered,
    2.  the child with low self-esteem and little to no confidence.
    3. the child who was never taught basic life skill or shown how to be a problem solver
    4.  or the child who does not know how to co-exist with others outside of their (parents) presence.
    5.  The enemy looks for…
      1.  the overly exposed child that has no fear.
      2. the child who lacks structure or discipline where nothing ever seems wrong or inappropriate because they never had any set no boundaries given to them by their parents.
      3. the child who is so full of pride with a big ego, with no sense of self and has no sense of humility.
      4. or the child who has been surrounded by so much dysfunction they themselves have become numb and desensitized to all the dysfunction that surrounded them and ultimately just accepted it as normal.

Once this child has been identified the enemy preys upon their weakness and then tempts them with the promise of fun, excitement, popularity, acceptance and the lure of material possessions. The enemy even promises more freedom, even lesser structure and boundaries with more extreme fun.

The child is suddenly unaware of what has come over them, they are scared, helpless and confused because nobody has ever prepared them for this day or this enemy.

Now the child is struggling and trying to do the best they can with what little they have. The child tries to fight off an enemy who they never saw coming or knows nothing about.  The child is extremely overwhelmed, heavily out-matched and totally unprepared for this attack.

The parent is also caught off guard and unprepared to confront this enemy who has just arrived in their home.

The parent is angry, defenseless, and confused. The parent begins to blame others such as the child’s peers, the school system, and the music they listen to and even the government for this change in their child behavior.

Oh, and let’s not forget the enemy’s secret and most powerful weapon, we call…. “ first love or puppy love “

Adolescence and puberty is a natural progression in a child’s life. A time when a child tries to make the difficult transition from being a naïve little child to becoming a mature and responsible adult.

As a parent, we hope that our children have the most joyful childhood ever, but make no mistake about it, this transition is seldom happy or easy. It is a necessary part of everyone’s life journey.

During this time children begin to identify themselves with the adult segment of society because they begin to physically share some common traits.

As a teenager they are just as tall as an adult and they weight just as much as an adult, so they begin to think they are becoming equal to an adult, but without having the mental maturity or experience of an adult.

In an attempt to appear more mature in their efforts to look more grown-up they prematurely engage in activities which they associate with being an adult, but without having the benefit of proper nurturing, time and experience, or the life skills that shape and mold a mature and responsible  adult .

A child begins to engage in things such as being dis-obedient and dis-respectful towards parents and authority, profanity, questionable appearance, drinking, smoking; drugs, partying, etc. without knowing exactly what the qualities and traits of a responsible adult are.

A child is merely trying to discover themselves and their life’s purpose. They are trying to bridge the gap between becoming an individual while learning to co-exist with their peers. As well as trying to communicate with a generation of people that they have very little, if anything in common with but a generation of adults who directs their lives and are responsible for their future.

The problem is without a solid foundation and a prior life plan for them to follow they will just grow up and try to fake their way through this transitional period by winging it ”.

If no adult guidance or strong support system is present for the child, they will just bounce their own ideas off of their peers who are also going through the same transition and who are as equally clueless.

Without the proper guidance, structure and support it will eventually turn out to be the blind leading the blind and the results are often disastrous with instant and unavoidable failure in life.

So what happens to a failing child, who is not given the help they need and set back on the right track ? A failing child will just grow up to be a failing adult in life as well.

Most people but especially children just want some personal attention.  A child just wants to be taught properly, to be respected and valued with a voice to be heard.  

A child craves structure and a strong person which they can believe in to lead them; however they will test your strength of character to see if you are indeed worthy of their respect and compliance.

If these basic needs are not met LOW SELF-ESTEEM sets in and the child’s strength of character is weakened.

The harsh reality is that all children and parents will one day have to face this enemy.

This is how you defeat the enemy who is coming whether you are prepared or not.

1. Understand and what a person need and help them to discover and develop what I promote and have termed as the 3 P’s, PURPOSE, PASSION and a PLAN

2. Know the difference between real love and possession

3. Make the investment in your child right now, this moment, today ! 

4. Provide your child with a fully practical life plan that provides them with the tools and structure that takes them through the full spectrum of life.

5. Cut off all their outside life lines and make yourself their only life line when a child goes outside the lines of authority and tries to run away from accountability, responsibility, discipline or authority.

As an adult I know your time is limited with so many other responsibilities in your life but the reality is you will either pay now or you will pay later but you will ultimately pay in one form or another.      Society and parents must nurture and develop these needs into positive self-worth and strong character.

Parents, Adults and leaders, please remember what it was like for you on that frightful day when the enemy came into your life looking for you !

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6 Responses to “The Day the Enemy Came”

  1. Rhonda says:

    Well said, this was really good information and can really help those that have children and or connected to children in any way. Good Job!

  2. Denise says:

    Awesome!
    Wish this kind of guidance was before me 7-8 years ago! As a single parent so caught up in the physical safety, financial, education, and spiritual rearing of a child; the protection and ushering through a child's social pressures is often camouflaged! Thinking that teaching your child about not involving themselves in negative behaviors such as smoking, drinking or drugs etc., is sufficient. Not realizing that some of the positive qualities you try to instill in your child, ( i.e. "acceptance of others," and to "love everyone for who they are"), would be the very tool the enemy uses to bait and often trap our youth! KUDOS to you sir!!!

  3. Chantel says:

    Very inspiring. Thank you

  4. Denise says:

    Have listened to While On My Way over and over again. Very powerful and heartfelt lyrics. A couple of verses really linger in my mind: "…I felt when you become a christian, truly you're free." and "I'm sick of tryin to do this on my own; without you I could never be strong."
    These words are so deep and express feelings rooted in pain, searching for "the answer" to end the labor and strife. I can almost feel the intense and desperate plea for relief through these words. EXCELLENT JOB, I.V. His Son!!!

  5. KRISTIE says:

    THANKFUL FOR THE ENPOWERMENT THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME. I HAVE BEEN BROKEN AS A MOTHER AND I HAVE FOUND THAT I HAVE A LOT TO CHANGE TO BE A LEADER IN MY OWN HOME. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE RECIEVED THIS INFORMATION OVER THE CONDITION THAT I DID,BUT THINGS HAPPPEN FOR A REASON .

  6. Cortney says:

    It was my pleasure finding your blog, please keep providing such useful information.

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