The Day the Enemy Came

The Day the Enemy Came
An Excerpt from the book, The P.A.C.E. Life Management Plan

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Parents there is an enemy lurking around the corner that is a real threat to you and your child’s future, and the enemy is not who you think it is.

ARE YOU and YOUR CHILD prepared for the day when the enemy comes and takes possession of your child?

All too often I hear parents ask this question in utter dismay…”What happened to my child? He or she was such a good kid!”

This question is pondered by many parents who assumed they had done all the right things on behalf of their child, until the reality sets in and shows them that after all that they had done, it still was not enough.

The Answer. Well, you know you already have it. You know what happened, you know who the enemy is, and what the enemy is capable of. But you refused to humble yourself and acknowledge the enemy and admit to yourself that you were unprepared to stop him until it was too late.

Many parents try to hold onto those precious memories of their child‘s innocence. The memories of their child taking their first step, or reaching out and looking up at them with those big brown eyes, or coming home with an “A” in elementary school, or outside riding their bikes.

Parents often try to prolong this period in a child’s life when the child is inquisitive and dependent upon them, but are also obedient and eager to please you.

The majority of parents are trying to protect their child by not exposing their child to the reality of real life, and some are even selfishly enabling their children so the child will be so dependent upon them that the child will grow up to be an adult that never leaves home or always seeking their help which makes the parent feel needed or not alone, but this method of parenting is what the enemy preys upon.

So who is this enemy I speak of? The enemy of every child is adolescence, puberty and growing up. (Define adolescent and explain the basic personality of a child ages of  2-5, 6-9,10-12, & 13-17)

The enemy looks for the overly sheltered child, who was never empowered, or not shown how to be a problem solver or lacks basic life skills.

The enemy looks for the overly exposed child that has no fear, who lacks structure or discipline where nothing ever seems wrong or inappropriate because they had no boundaries, they were surrounded by too much dysfunction until it was accepted as normal.

The enemy then tempts them with the promise of no boundaries, more extreme fun and excitement, popularity, acceptance and the lure of material possessions.

Then one day out of the blue, somewhere between the ages of 12-14 a change takes place in all Children lives.  It’s called ADOLESCENCE, PUBERTY AND GROWING UP.

During this transition everything changes for the child both mentally and physically and the parent is caught off guard and unprepared to confront the enemy that has just arrived. The enemy has taken their baby and replaced their child with a stranger.

The parent is angry and confused and begins to blame others (their friends, the school, the music and even the government) for this change in their child.

Even the child is unaware of what he/she has become because nobody ever prepared them, and they are struggling trying to do the best that they can with what little they have.

Adolescence and puberty is a natural progression in a child’s life when a child tries to make the transition from a child to an adult, they began to identify themselves with the adult segment of society because they begin to physically share common traits. They are almost as tall as an adult and weigh almost as much as an adult so they are becoming equal to an adult.

A child is merely trying to discover themselves and their purpose. They are trying to bridge the gap of becoming an individual while learning to co-exist in an attempt to appear more authentic. In their efforts to look more grown up they prematurely engage in activities they associate with being grown, but not necessarily reflective of a mature and responsible adult. The child begins to engage in things such as profanity, questionable appearance, dating, driving, smoking, drinking, partying, etc.

The problem is that without prior structure and guidance they will just try to fake their way through this transition by “winging It ”.

If no adult guidance or strong support system is there for the child, they will just bounce ideas off of their peers and friends who are also going through the same transition and are equally clueless and it eventually turns out to be the blind leading the blind and results are often disastrous.

This is how you defeat the enemy who is coming whether you are prepared as a parent or not.

THE WILLING

Make the investment in your child now. I know time is limited with so many other things going on, but the reality is you either pay now or pay later but you will ultimately pay in form or another.

“I once heard a quote which is a very harsh reality “You either lead the willing or you drag the unwilling. ” Sometime in order for a leader to gain compliance and move forward in the right direction towards progress stern guidance is sometimes needed.

Most individuals want to do better, they simply were never properly taught. Those individuals are more prong to guidance and proper nurturing because they are willing.

THE UNWILLING

And unfortunately for those who resist living or being governed by rules of acceptable behavior and fail to comply, you must implement rules, consequences and mechanisms to guide them  to voluntarily comply (which doesn’t mean they must like it , it only means that they comply and be willing to follow directions.